I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
COCAINE IS GR8
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
