I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
Randomize
