So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
