It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Randomize