What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
