Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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