If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
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