I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
