Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
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