For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Let's get the cat blown out
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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