I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
