I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
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