your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
