I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
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