Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
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