So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
