I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
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