just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
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