Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Randomize
