drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize
