Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
I just found puke in my bra..
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Randomize
