I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
