oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
