He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Randomize
