Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
