That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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