and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
I wish you could order shots online.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
