I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
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