I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Randomize
