We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
