Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Randomize
