i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Randomize
