Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
