You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
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