don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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