he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
