It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Randomize
