dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
