it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
