hotel room ftw
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
