I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Randomize
