So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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