he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
