there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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