at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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