There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Randomize
