I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
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