i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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