ya dads aren't the best wingmen
I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
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