She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
