But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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